Let it snow
by MyLadyDay
Summary: Day 8 of Kumiko-sama-chan's Holiday Zosan drabble exchange. On their way to visit friends for the holidays, Zoro is eerily silent while Sanji reflects on how everyone they know is starting a family.


**This is my story for day 8 of Kumiko-sama-chan's First annual Zosan drabble exchange. Hope you like it and comments are greatly appreciated. Check out the other stories on Kumiko's tumblr and there are way more to come :D**

**Thank you Aerle and Fuyunoneko for betaing, love you**

Sanji was packing the last of their ton of presents into the back seat while Zoro locked the front door and made sure they had everything. The drive to Franky and Robin's place was around six hours long and forgetting something wouldn't be advisable; after all, it was only a few days before Christmas and buying new presents would be nearly impossible. Zoro was already sitting in the driver's seat by the time Sanji double checked everything. He joined his green haired significant other in the front seat and Zoro started the car immediately without uttering a word. The radio was on and a wide range of holiday music was playing, one Christmas song after another as they drove through the falling snow. The day was ending fast, the darkness descending onto the perfect white snow all around them removed only from the deserted road they were following.

Even with the music playing, Sanji could feel the oppressive silence that has settled in the car. In fact, it was hard to miss, they had barely spoken in days. Zoro was staring intently at the road in front of them, which might have been praiseworthy had it not been for the fact he barely looked at Sanji when he didn't necessarily need to. Sanji was far from confused, he knew very well what was going on, but that didn't mean he was any less hurt. Still, sneaking glances at the marimo behind the wheel, he could tell the other was hurting as well even if he had been good at hiding it. Suddenly, he felt nervousness creep into him, dragging a sharp cold with it, a cold that his favorite blue sweater couldn't even remotely keep away. What if that was the end of everything they had built together? What if Zoro decided to replace him with a woman who could give him everything Sanji couldn't? The immense weight of the whole situation was pressing down on Sanji's chest; the feeling of great loss he was carrying for days was multiplied with the thoughts of losing Zoro as well. Would he be able to handle that? Would he be able to continue with his life after everything they had together?

They must have been on the road for nearly an hour already, the darkness was thick around the car, only broken by the fluttering of white carried on strong gusts of wind. Absolutely fitting the occasion, the sounds of "Let It Snow" were filling the car and Sanji simply couldn't stand all the unspoken words between them, all the possible outcomes of one incredibly shitty situation. It all hit him head-on; the sadness, the stress and the disappointment.

"Marimo…" Sanji started, looking at Zoro with sad eyes.

"Don't," Zoro stated firmly, his eyes fixated on the road. "Just don't," he repeated, but his voice cracked this time and the extent of his anguish was laid out in front of the blond, but he still didn't look at his lover. His mask of indifference was now shattered and Sanji could see clearly how the other was suffering. There was no need for words or explanations for why that was, they were both pained by the same god damn situation, but Sanji couldn't fathom why Zoro wouldn't look at him. They were in it together, right? For good and bad and while the current state of things definitely fell into the category of bad and beyond, there were also good things to come. Weren't there?

Tears welled in Sanji's blue eyes. He wouldn't be able to stop them even if he had tried, but why bother? They would just come back again and again, reminding him that he might as well be alone with Zoro avoiding his very existence. He couldn't help the sob that escaped his lips; thinking of being all alone again after knowing what happiness and belonging felt like was too hard.

"Zoro…" his voice was broken, quiet and completely unfitting for the cheerful song playing on the radio, but Zoro heard him. His heart already weighed a ton, but hearing his love speak with a voice as small and defeated like that only served to add more of the weight to the guilt Zoro lived with. Finally, he turned to Sanji and looked at him, his eyes as sad as they could ever be. Sanji almost crumbled under the intensity of it, noticing that Zoro did care and that everything was eating him far more than Sanji could have imagined. He pulled over by the side of the road, surprising Sanji as well as confusing him. The marimo unbuckled his seatbelt quickly and leaned over, pulling the blond into a tight embrace. The warmth of Zoro's body, his breath in Sanji's ear and the secure hold he had on the blond were enough to ease the cold that had seeped into Sanji. He could finally breathe easier, Zoro was finally holding him again, but as soon as he had thought it, he knew it wouldn't last.

"Why are you doing this?" Sanji asked into the crook of Zoro's neck and could feel the marimo stiffen at the words. He immediately let go of Sanji and pulled back into his own seat, the grief replaced by anger.

"Because it's my damn fault we can't adopt!" he yelled, startling Sanji and making him realize that the damn marimo was blaming himself the whole time. "Because of me, you'll never have the family you always wanted! We're not getting any younger, cook. All our friends are settling down, starting families and we can't because of me…" he trailed off, his voice growing weaker with every uttered word. Sanji stared in disbelief, but Zoro had a point about their friends. Ever since Robin first announced she was pregnant, she and Franky had moved to a smaller town, deeming it was time they invested into a family home big enough for her private library, his workshop and at least two more kids. Usopp and Kaya were engaged, even Luffy calmed down and was looking into buying a house with Nami. The list just went on and while they were the ones in a relationship longer than those of most their friends, they were the ones with the least chances for a real family.

"Oh, marimo," Sanji said, his voice soft and as reassuring as it could have been. "It's okay, it's not your fault. You couldn't have known and you weren't even arrested. It is in no way your fault!"

"It's not okay, cook!" Zoro shouted. "You won't get anything you want just because you chose me!"

Sanji's temper was rising; why didn't the damn marimo see it wasn't his fault?! They shouldn't have to pay just because Zoro was caught with a baggie of pot that wasn't even his, years ago when they were in college.

"I chose you because you are what I want, shitty marimo!" Sanji's voice was gaining in volume. "We'll find a way to adopt, we can't give up."

Zoro opened his mouth, but said nothing, opting for opening the door instead and fleeing from the car before Sanji could even unbuckle his seatbelt. The door closed with a thud and the marimo was no longer visible beyond the foggy window. It was dark and it looked like there was a storm coming, the snow probably couldn't have been falling harder and Sanji was mad. Mad at himself for not seeing through Zoro's shitty disguise, after all, it was completely like the marimo to feel excessive guilt for shit that wasn't his fault and he was also mad at Zoro for still trying to hide his feelings after all the years they had spent together. And if the situation wasn't bad enough, the marimo would probably get lost in the dark. Sanji chuckled at that for a moment, but it still sounded sad.

He was trying to decide whether he should go out and look for the damned idiot or stay in the car. Even if Zoro displayed some superhuman qualities, he did in fact get cold and he would, no doubt, get cold in the middle of a forming snow storm. They would have to move the car quickly, too, otherwise they could get snowed in and that would be a problem more serious than any fight.

Sanji was seconds away from reaching a decision, but his turmoil was put on hold as the sound of a default ringtone reached his ears. He would never use such a sound for his phone, so he decided it must have been the marimo's. Lovely, he wouldn't be able to call the man either. Still, he fished the phone out from the driver's seat where it must have fallen from Zoro's pocket. The caller ID said it was their lawyer and Sanji couldn't find it in himself to swoon over the blond woman when he answered the phone.

"Hello, this is Sanji speaking," he said in a manner that was so unlike him, especially when talking to a lady.

"_Good evening, Sanji," _Kalifa spoke. She had always seemed cold and distant, but she had been doing anything in her power to help them. _"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?_"

"Oh, no, no," he replied in a rushed tone. "Zoro isn't here at the moment, but I could give him a message."

"_Well, this matter concerns you too, so I don't mind telling you_," her tone was still monotonous and he really couldn't guess what had gone wrong this time, but he was sure it wasn't anything good. _"You are back in the adoption system as potential parents," _she said as if she was discussing the weather and Sanji took a moment to let it all sink in. They were back in the system? They could adopt? So many questions were swimming through his head that he simply didn't care if Kalifa was still talking on the other end of the line. Still, he snapped out of it after he glanced at the driver's seat and remembered that he needed to find Zoro.

"We can adopt?" his tone was rushed and excited, but he really didn't think of controlling his emotions anymore. "Is this final?"

"_Yes. I can tell you in detail, if you'd like_,"she offered, but Sanji couldn't care less about how she had done it as long as it was done.

"No, thank you, I have to find Zoro and tell him the good news," he replied, trying not to sound as if he were trying to get rid of her as soon as possible.

"_Yes, of course. If you have any questions, feel free to call_," she added before saying goodbye and for the first time in his life, Sanji was glad he didn't have to talk to a lady. He wasted no time, after all they had already wasted days in the constant anguish and grief. Sanji jumped out of the car and looked around; there wasn't much to be seen in the dark with the thick snow falling, but luck was apparently on his side for the time being. Zoro didn't leave that long ago and his footprints were still slightly visible in the snow. Sanji hurried into the darkness, paying no mind to the fact he was getting soaked. It was only then that he noticed tears streaming down his face, yet he was happy. He had never been so happy before that he would cry and the notion only made him run faster, knowing that Zoro needed to hear the news, he needed to be happy too.

Thanks to the unholy amount of snow, the night wasn't nearly as dark as it could have been and Sanji saw a very familiar silhouette fairly soon. The marimo was sitting on something, his head in his hands and Sanji didn't want to think about what the other was feeling to make him lose it like that.

"Zoro!" he shouted into the night. Sanji was aware of his grin, of the redness of his cheeks and the tears freezing on his face, but he didn't care when he saw the marimo look up. Zoro was probably about to protest or try and send him away, but Sanji beat him to it. He launched himself at Zoro's seated form and tackled the man into a pile of snow. Zoro was clearly confused, but he still clutched his arms around Sanji without hesitation as they fell. He could see the cook had been crying and the guilt increased yet again, but seeing the cook grin momentarily confused him.

"We can adopt!" he said and his face was a mess, more tears falling as he spoke the words. "Kalifa just called, it's okay."

Zoro held him tighter, disbelief evident in his eyes, but he no longer cared about the cold enveloping him. "Marimo, did you hear me? We can adopt!" Sanji repeated himself, speaking louder this time, his words accompanied by a laugh. Seeing the cook like that made Zoro believe his words, made him laugh along and before he knew it, his face was wet from his own tears as well. Zoro's grip around the blond tightened as he pulled Sanji as close as he could, kissing him passionately in an attempt to make up for the past several days. He was in the wrong, he could see it now, for distancing himself from the cook when he was suffering as well. Without breaking the kiss, Zoro rolled the blond into the snow and settled on top of him. Sanji pulled away and hissed at the sudden freezing sensation on his back, with the snow creeping under his collar, but he laughed nonetheless before kissing the marimo again. Neither cared for the cold or the soaked clothes, though they knew they would once the initial shock subsides.

Zoro kissed his lover again for a brief moment before he found himself buried in snow again with said lover on top of him, laughing like an overly excited child and the laughter was contagious. Still, the cold was slowly getting to them and the snow was still falling. Zoro lifted himself with little difficulty while still holding onto the laughing blond and started walking in the direction he assumed was the right one. For once, he actually chose the correct way and Sanji told him so, taking it as a good sign. The blond let himself be carried without complaining just once, seeing how different Zoro's attitude was since the news sunk in.

"The others better not have any news more exciting than ours," Sanji pouted into the crook of Zoro's neck, hardly being able to wait for another five hours to tell everyone.


End file.
